Sunday, September 29, 2013

Antique Typewriter Repair Shop in Melbourne

http://thethousands.com.au/melbourne/shop/tom-the-typewriter-guy

http://www.totallyyourtype.com/2013/06/rare-japanese-machines-part-2-clipper.html

http://oztypewriter.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/typewriter-tom-thinks-about-hanging-up.html

http://filthyplaten.blogspot.com.au/2013/09/a-visit-to-toms-typewriter-shop.html

For a few years now I've acquired a fever for antique typewriters and I'm afraid it has not abated, but has got worse. I think I've bought about a dozen very old typewriters now.

The prices for the old typewriters - the ones that were made in the 1930s or earlier - are just going up and up.

There's something magical about them. As a writer I love to use them - to hear their sound - and to feel their vibe. There is a sense of immediacy about them - a sense of finality when you hit the keys home. You can't turn back you just write on - and that helps with the flow of your thoughts. You are driven to completion.


The shop is in

188 Elgin St, Carlton, Vic Australia- opposite the Shell Petrol Station. You still have to give him another call before you drive over - just in case he's not there yet.

Contact: Tom on 9347 6311 - 0401136181

Blogs to follow: messynessychic

http://www.messynessychic.com/2012/09/28/belle-epoque-dining-in-paris/

I gotta go to Europe one day and visit all these cute places.


Saturday, September 28, 2013

Shaved public hair vs natural look

Saturday: I'm stuck at home now instead of being at St Andrews Market up at Panton Hill. Its dreadfully windy - and it can get a bit hairy driving up there. :) Unfortunately as each quarter progresses, it ain't looking much better.

Anyhow, I was reading some article on the internet written by a female writer unhappy that guys prefer the shaven look - ie. a hairless vagina area or at the very least a well manicured look which she associates with an MCP brainwashed by the pornography plague - oh my.

This topic seems to be cropping up from time to time. :D So let's talk about it.

I'm baffled with the argument equating feminism with an "au natural" look. Its mystifying how the feminist movement is taken over by retro Victorian Society style matronly prudes. Its almost as if they want to make sex as un-fun as possible or worse to make women just as unkempt as some men. I've seen some extreme feminists wearing men's clothes, eschewing any form of makeup and basically trying their best to look like men. I feel sympathy for them just like I do for men who deliberately go out of their way to look like women, ie wearing lipstick, mascara, huge earrings, etc.. Wow. What happened there?

I think we should be celebrating the differences between sexes instead of emasculating them. Our natural inclinations define us. What's wrong about that?

But I digress. OK. I think having a shaven pubic area is one's own personal prerogative. If you don't want to shave or trim your public hair - OK, cool. No one is also going to stop you from wearing whatever clothes you desire either.

Just don't demand that people like your choices. If you wanna shave or not shave its up to you. If you want to spend your day eating unhealthy food don't complain if you look fat and unhealthy and unappealing. Not a great comparison but you get the drift.

To turn it around a bit - I ask the ladies: if a woman feels grossed out with a man who refuses to shave and has a really long unkept beard do you think she is perfectly justified to refuse to even contemplate kissing him- is that so wrong?


I guess looking at this photo you can see why they had arranged marriages in the old days. lol.

Personally I like the close manicured or bare look for women - I love that clean bare look in the pubic areas - armpits and vagina. I find the style naturally harmonizes with a healthy and fit woman's streamlined body. It just looks so right.

I went out with a girl who I later discovered went for laser treatments to remove her pubic hair. I appreciated her effort :) She looked divine.

At the same time, I make sure I shave (my face haha) before my dates - sometimes I let my facial hair grow out a bit the day before so that when I use a proper razor to get a much closer shave. As for the other nether question you might like to ask - I refer you to my motto - "Do unto others what you want others to do for yourself." haha. Yes, I do keep it clean and tidy :)

I think personal grooming is extremely important. I would like my date to smell good, wear nice clothes, have clean breath. If she can be bothered to make the effort, I better darn well do the same if not more. I'd even go to the extent of watching the food I eat prior to the date - even going for a strict fruit diet if I really liked the girl. Ahhh... that sounds needy yeah? haha. But seriously, would you like to kiss someone who reeks of garlic and who has eaten asparagus?

A word of caution: Shaving your genitals regions does cause problems - ingrown hair for example - but at the very least a nice trim using an electric safety shaver surely is not too much to ask?

Having said all that- I realize that this sort of thing is often a fashion choice and often dictated by what's prevalent in that particular culture. Apparently for the some societies - like the Japanese - they choose not to shave and also eschew the wearing of braces. For all their desire for perfection, the Japanese prefer to see their women with fucked up crooked teeth and a hairy bush.

And strangely enough, for some men who came to age in the 1970s - they really prefer to see women in all their hairy glory. I laugh when they talk about the good old days. Which one?

The Photo is a 19th century nude painting - entitled Chloe. Its outstanding! I just love her stance, her proud pose - its a strong statement of her sexuality and beauty.




Friday, September 27, 2013

Girl Friday


Good books and well-read women or (hot tea or coffee) are my bane.

Tonga August 2014



 I love swimming in the ocean, esp. in the deep clear blue sea where there is no perceivable depth. Its like flying in outer space. You look down and you can see streams of sunlight glittering down like crystal pillars.

I also love to swim with very large marine creatures. I've scuba dived and swam with whale sharks, manta rays, dolphins, sharks, barracudas, and humpback whales- the latter very briefly.

I've been to Niue in the South Pacific twice already - and both experiences were so-so. The encounters with the whales were very brief and infrequent.

The images coming from Tonga Island (near Niue) are very remarkable. I've seen video footage of the whales congregating like cows on a farm paddock.

I want to swim with a whale just to feel the sense of awe you get being side by such a massive intelligent mammal. I want to look at it in the eye and feel its gaze at me. I want to reach out and then feel the wave as it reaches out too with its massive flipper.

How good will that be!

So in August 2014, I'm going to Tonga to swim with humpback whales.

Watch the video - its breathtaking!


Wednesday, September 25, 2013

An "Eternity" Moment

Last night, I had an "eternity moment" - a touch with the divine if you like. What happened prior - I had spent the last hour and a half searching for my favorite Rayban sunglasses (ok, 1st World Problem, haha). Searched everywhere seven times over - I couldn't find them and my thoughts veered from frustration, irritation, despair to finally acceptance.

I've lost it. Its gone. @#$$!!!! I used to let such things upset me a lot but now I find that acceptance - after a short "grrr" moment - is a much more positive and healthier option.

"Oh no, another one lost...damnit!!!" and after awhile, "I hope it found a good home." End of story.

One man's lost is another man's treasure. That's how things goes. While I did lose something precious to me - at the same time, someone else made a good find. Its happened. It can't be reversed. That's how life is. I think sometimes its preordained. In Ecclesiastes its written that its the job for one man to gather and for another to use it.


Strangely at that moment of letting go, I started thinking about SJW. She's a friend whom I cared about but lost. We met. We connected. We shared intimate details about ourselves and for awhile I thought this would lead to something more. I had this eerie feeling that we were suppose to meet. 

One example - we were walking through a parking lot and there were Mercedes, BMWs, Maserati, Ferrai sports cars etc.. and suddenly she burst out excitedly, "OMG I love that car!!!!" And in the corner, there was a vintage VW Beetle, mid 1960s. The same car I drive (in Melbourne) and love; I mentioned it to her and she looked at me as if I was fibbing. Coincidences. Chance encounters. Is it possible that God or fate is showing us the dots so that we can draw it out? Or perhaps its just pure imagination - cloud gazing? A month after that she abruptly dropped out of my life and doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with me now. The shock and silence of rejection is soul chilling. 

But back to that moment, the Rayban brought into remembrance an incident when I took her out for lunch and we passed an old spectacle shop (where I bought my glasses from). She stopped and admired the Rayban display and wanted to go in. The image of her wearing the same but ridiculously oversized brown aviator glasses (same design as mine) came into my mind, she still looked hawt though.

After I had that recollection the parable of Luke 15 came into my mind .... 

***
 So Jesus told the pharisees this parable, saying, “What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep and has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open pasture and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? When he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!’ 7

***

and I felt God gently admonishing me "Hey, I care for her too." And then right on cue, as if to hammer home the point, I see my Raybans sitting in the other car in the garage which I didn't use (how it got there is another long story; see below).*

How odd. Coincidence? A Prophetic moment? Another "Join the dots" What does it mean??????? I've had prophetic moments and "eternity moments" in my life - some of them devastatingly accurate - others seemingly mirage like.  Whether this was a prescient moment or vulgar chance, I'm feeling really chill about the whole thing. It would be magical if this was indeed a prescient experience but I'm not so pollyannish to gamble my hopes onto an incident - at the same time I'm not so cynical as to snuff out the moment with contempt.

I'm leaning toward the magic factor - that God is reassuring me that its going to be OK, so chill. My feeling is that we shared a connection and she genuinely enjoyed my company. Something stuffed up afterwards but that does not detract from the affection we shared for each other. I actually felt strangely enough that God (or Fate) put us together on the same path for a reason. 

But chances are she would be really utterly bemused or worse creeped out if she was reading this now. I still don't really know what exactly turned her heart stone cold towards me. I can hazard guesses, but good as they may be - its purely speculative.

The positive thing I take away from this is I believe God has this under control. I'm happy a bit more content with whatever outcome He takes it - even if it means I never see her again. Awhile back ago, I actually sent her an email telling her that if she found a better man than "my joy would be complete and I'm happy that she's found happiness". Ridiculous from some people's point of view - but that's "me".

I believe that there is no such thing as coincidence. We meet each other for good or bad for a moment, an hour, a month, a year, for a season - and we impart our spirits and share ourselves with others. 

I shared a small season of joy with her and she shared what was her best - that I will treasure and remember. 

Time is precious. Your youth is especially valuable. Spend it wisely with people who love you and care for you. You don't get it back.



*OK. How the raybans got inside the other car is quite a story. It seems I had placed the sunglasses on top of the car and had forgotten about it. I was probably carrying the groceries from the garage or doing something there and just left them on top of the car carelessly. Later on- the car was driven off - with the sunglasses still ON TOP of the car. A couple of minutes later, the person who was driving the car said she (and she's partially deaf) heard it rattle off the roof where upon it landed on the edge of the car. She got out   and placed it inside the dashboard area. I find that absolutely amazing as it could have fallen off the car roof and neatly landed - instead of falling onto the road and got smashed.


Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Song of the Day - The Hardest Walk by Jesus & Mary Chain




I love Chopin, Beethoven and even Early Music - but this song played loud - super loud - makes me feel so alive. That guitar riff - wow - shockingly exhilarating.

What women /men want

That's the eternal question isn't it?

What do women want?

What do men want?

There is literally a whole industry devoted to this. Perhaps one of the more repugnant ones is the Pick Up Artist (PUA) industry whose proponents teach that it is possible to "game" people, press their buttons, seduce them, manipulate them etc..

I've read some of the stuff - and it is tempting to believe that there is a magic way - a sexual "Arbra-ka-dah-bra" to open up a women's (men's) heart. Say the right phrase, ask the right questions... or the more sophisticated ones - be confident, bold, exude the right amount of arrogance and charm - seems to be a phony game to me.


The more I think about it - the more I wonder whether these so-called pick-up artists - are successful because they are finding vulnerable people. People who at that moment in their lives are just open for suggestion and for manipulation. And then there is the whole ethical dilemma - which may concern you if you are a good person - whether you should participate in this cruel con game which preys on the weak.

Having said that - the question "what do people want?" is about as useful as asking "what job people want?" or "what car do they want to drive?" or "what is your favorite color?"

I think the more important question is "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" and that will determine all the rest.

I've got a number of friends who love to tell me what to do with my life. They want me to change my car. They want me to go to discos. No doubt they are concerned about me. But at the same time I realize - this is what they want. It is not necessarily what I want. I've had to distance myself from a number of them - good as their intentions may be - because I don't want to be like them. I hate it when people try and impose their will and demands on me. I especially don't like it when people don't respect my privacy space.


I think the adage - "Be yourself" is inherently sound advice. All of us are unique people. We are who we are. Our personality defines us.
 
But to a certain extent - its also bad advice. I'd be the first to admit that there are certain aspects of my personality that I don't like and I would prefer to be changed. My habit of procrastination and clutter for example. I can also be very shy, withdrawn, too open, careless with my words etc..

We can be molded. We can be changed. We can be taught and learn new life skills. I think positive attempts at change should always be welcomed.

Yet, you have to ask yourself far more important questions - "who am I?" "what do I want?"










Monday, September 23, 2013

Sexual Politics in Christian circles

http://sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com/2013/05/03/why-do-christian-women-perpetuate-myths-about-attraction/
Do women want dominate men or equal partners? In church we are often taught that women want equal partners - seems great - who wouldn't want a partner who helps out with the housework, takes care of the kids etc.. but maybe they are stating the case too much?

But maybe the gauge - between good guy/domestic help - and coach potato/male chauvinistic pig - is just two ends of a spectrum. No one is going to like you if you drive constantly at 15km/h or 150km/h.

What I find absolutely pathetic are people who want others to pursue an ideal that they themselves do not care for.





Movie review - Stories We Tell

I heard some good things about this movie. Yesterday on Facebook I read a glowing report by Aimee Mann (the musician) - and gosh I had nothing planned for Sunday night so I decided to go watch it.

"Stories We Tell" is a documentary about Sarah Polley's mother. Its told through interviews with the people who knew her. Her family, her children, her loving husband etc..

Initially it seems a straightforward sadsob story about a close relative who dies before her time.


But we are told early on that there is a mystery about a woman who seemed to be open without secrets.

I liked it. I give it a 8/10 for its uniqueness. I had this overwhelming sense as the interviews were starting off that this was going to be a story about an ordinary family living extraordinary lives by chance.

And I wondered how many stories that my own countrymen (Singaporeans) had that are not shared, known, and will quite likely enter total silence when they die.

Anyway, this is a serious and clever film and does require you to pay attention to the narration. There are certain twists so don't watch this if you are too tired or after an action/horror flick.




Spoilers below

Do not read this if you don't want to spoil the plot.

I felt that Sarah was in incensed with her lovely dad for not being able to love her mother the way she wanted to be loved. But I love how he was totally accepting of his wife's infidelity and even was glad for it - as the outcome of that adultery - was Sarah Polley - who while she was not his own child - she was who she was due to the union of his wife and another lover. I found that extraordinarily "God-like loving" - I can't think of a better word.


Pablo Neruda - Tonight I can write the saddest lines

Pablo Neruda is one of a poet which - sadly to my discredit - I didn't find out until recently. He wrote in Spanish - and later on his works were translated into other languages. I'm not sure how much was lost in translation. But usually much of the smoothness, the style, the poetry and dance of the language is missing when a translation occurs. I've got to learn Spanish one day.

I find reading this sort of poetry quite cathartic. I had a friend whom I liked disappear from my life. I miss her. I miss her companionship, her laughter, her joy. If I met with her again, I would not ask her whether she would miss me. Of course it would make me happy if she said yes. But it seems pointless because she would say no. And even if she said yes I would doubt her sincerity. There are somethings you do not find out by asking. You can only find out by knowing.

If I met my girl. I would hold her hand and enjoy the small touch. Leaning forward I would lightly hold her shoulder and kiss her forehead, breathing the fragrance of her hair. If she recoils I would hold back and smile sadly. But if she leans towards me rubbing her head against my chest. My delight would be complete. I'd wrap my arms around her small waist and lift her lithe frame up to me. Rubbing my nose against hers, I'd look into her eyes and gently press my lips on her lips. One, two, three, she closes her eyes and I close mine and we kiss and embrace.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example,'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voide. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

One of the best renditions of Pablo Neruda's poem - I like for you to be still

The Best Gift in the world



I woke up early this morning - Again. One of my dismal friends opinionated that is because I'm getting old and not needing sleep. I don't think so - esp when I wake up with a massive hard on :) And I'm dreaming she's in bed with me now - making fierce love. Hungry for each other - we are both insatiable in our desires. I grip her tightly - our bodies locked as if our spirits are desperately trying to blend our physical into one. We kiss strongly passionately. And I feel myself enter her soul and she into mine.

I thought of WSJ again. I really shouldn't. I've been trying to forget about her. But her absence has left a hole in my heart. Sorry for the cliche but its true.

The longest wait is when your lover does not reply.

One or two indiscreet statements and it fell apart so easily. To be honest we didn't know each other very long. And our encounter was far from the usual. But we shared a connection - she said as much. Nonetheless she also said she didn't feel as strongly for me. I couldn't help it. She touched me.

I wish right now that she was lying on my chest and I had my right arm around her, protecting, reassuring, gently caressing her face, her breasts. She gives me her trust and that would be the best gift in the world.


Saturday, September 21, 2013

Saturday Diving classes




I went for my afternoon platform diving class today. No, not scuba diving. Its the same one at the Olympics - you jump off a plank and do a dive. Most of my "classmates" are often pre-teen girls - who put me to shame with their aerobatics.

Well, what to do? I go mainly because of the strength of the coaching. Jenny Donnet, a 6 time Olympic participant, is our coach. Not enough praise can be given to her. She's just a brilliant coach. She takes you step by step on how to do the dives properly.

Why do I do it? From a young age I really admired the Olympic divers for their grace and angelic beauty of their sport. They jump off amazing heights and execute astounding maneuvers in the air before slipping into the water with barely a splash. Its so beautiful to watch. Superhuman efforts.

But I couldn't do it. I was fearful of heights. I was clumsy. And the ridicule fucked me up. One of my most painful embarrassing moments in my life came when I was about 14 - and forced to do a dive off the lifeguard platform in full view of most of my classmates and the rest of the other public spectators. The platform was about 5 to 6m up- I just couldn't do it. Everyone was jeering at me. The teacher did what they could to teach me how to do it - which was like a swan teaching a chicken how to fly. Eventually the lifeguard or teacher kicked my ass into the water. Everyone had a good laugh including the teachers. I wish I had died.

I've been conscious about my clumsiness and ineptitude. I sometimes learn very painfully slow. But I don't have to stay that way. And so I line up with little girls aged from 7 years old up and jump off a platform into the swimming pool.

The progress is slow. But I'm making progress. I managed to actually do a proper leap off the platform and do a dive apparently perfectly today.

I think it does wonders for your self-esteem, your brain, when you learn a fantastic skill that has eluded you for years. You really feel great, younger, and something positive inside you changes.

Some other things that I want to do:

Learn and be fluent in more languages besides English. I think learning a new language opens your world up to another. Acquire another language. Learn another culture. Be a different person.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to go to another country, change your name, your identity, and be someone else. I'm not talking about becoming dishonest and being untrue to yourself. But I think sometimes certain core traits that we have are tied to geography, to location, to place. Go to a different land, speak another language, be with different people, (abandon bad friends and bad hang ups from the past), and wow, you're living a different life. You've become a new person.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Morning Reading: The Most Dangerous Book by Alan Watts.

"A committed believer in the Koran trots out the same arguments for his point of view as a Southern Baptist devotee of the Bible, and neither can listen to reason, because their whole sense of personal security and integrity depends absolutely upon pretending to follow an external authority. The very existence of this authority, as well as the sense of identity of its follower and true believer, requires an excluded class of infidels, heathens and sinners people whom you can punish and bully so as to know that you are strong and alive. No argument, no reasoning, no contrary evidence can possibly reach the true believer, who, if he is somewhat sophisticated, justifies and even glorifies his invincible stupidity as a "leap of faith" or "sacrifice of the intellect."

Atheism in the name of God is an abandonment of all religious beliefs, including atheism, which in practice is the stubbornly held idea that the world is a mindless mechanism. Atheism in the name of God is giving up the attempt to make sense of the world in terms of any fixed idea or intellectual system. It is becoming again as a child and laying oneself open to reality as it is actually and directly felt, experiencing it without trying to categorize, identify or name it. This can be most easily begun by listening to the world with closed eyes, in the same way that one can listen to music without asking what it says or means. This is actually a turn-on a state of consciousness in which the past and future vanish (because they cannot be heard) and in which there is no audible difference yourself and what you are hearing. There is simply universe, an always present happening in which there is no perceptible difference between self and other, or, as in breathing, between what you do and what happens to you. Without losing command of civilized behavior, you have temporarily "regressed" to what Freud called the oceanic feeling of the baby the feeling that we all lost in learning to make distinctions, but that we should have retained as their necessary background, just as there must be empty white paper under this print if you are to read it.

When you listen to the world in this way, you have begun to practice what Hindus and Buddhists call meditation a re-entry to the real world, as distinct from the abstract world of words and ideas. If you find that you can't stop naming the various sounds and thinking in words, just listen to yourself doing that as another form of noise, a meaningless murmur like the sound of traffic. I won't argue for this experiment. Just try it and see what happens, because this is the basic act of faith of being unreservedly open and vulnerable to what is true and real.
 http://www.katinkahesselink.net/other/alan-watts-bible.html

I like what he has to say.... but... if you look at life like a blank piece of paper you can write anything you want onto it.

There has to be a prism - a filter for us to view life - otherwise the views of a psychopath, the views of a genocidal dictator like Hitler, Pol Pot, or Genghis Khan is on the same - everything is cool baby - view of Gandhi, Jesus etc..

But for myself - I have read the Bible, I have stayed in the church for 40 years, and I think its time for me to step back and evaluate and not just blindingly accept what was written as God's word.

Lavender Ear Grey Tea

I have the fortune of having lavender plants in my garden here in Melbourne.

Lately I've been using the flowers in my tea - and its remarkably delightful to drink.

First I boil the water - then once its boiled I add in a spoonful of T2 Earl Grey Tea (loose leaf).

(I might have used Twinnings Earl Grey but for some reason Twinnings have ruined their product and the bag versions taste like charcoal)

Keep the water on boil for about 1 minute then let the tea sit in the pot to infuse it.


Pour and strain the hot tea into the tea pot. Place the lavender flowers into it prior. I don't like to boil the flowers.

Depending on your preference, put as many as you like. For my example - I put in a handful of fresh cut lavender flowers. (Sorry no photo of the flowers because they were wet from the rain).

Give it a good stir then pour to drink.

I don't add any sugar or sweetener. I do add some milk. If you don't like milk, I suggest you use less tea leaf to make it less bitter.

The fresh Black light tea version has an eye opening character all of its own.

I also collect vintage porcelain sets. This one from Japan is over 70 years old and dates to the 1930s.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Lee Kuan Yew - his legacy

Just a small note about Lee Kuan Yew.

He is without doubt a great political leader. He's a smart man, an intelligent man, an astute man... but he's also a man. A fallible man. Someone who did not brook dissent or opposition.

See how he treated his political opponents. He jailed some of them. He did vile things to them.

Read about the so-called Marxist Conspiracy in the 1980s where a group of idealistic social workers and lawyers mainly from Catholic groups were imprisoned under the ISA. They hauled up their leader and forced him to confess on national tv.

Even then as a child I realized that something was wrong.

Well, then you look at all the other leaders of his era - Marcos, Sukarno, Mao, the various Vietnamese leaders, ... and Pol Pot - and suddenly LKY is like freaking Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. lol.

He is often worried about the future direction of Singapore and wants to lecture us on this or that. But I wonder whether he realizes that a lot of Singapore's problems are actually his fault.

One thing I don't like about him is his ego - his attitude that he built Singapore up from scratch. There are many other leaders in Singapore that don't get the same recognition. Few people remember them - its all LKY this and that.

His stiff policies has also resulted in the migration of a lot of Singaporeans. Don't like it - get out - is his government's attitude. When my dad made a complaint that it was unfair that I should be penalized for flunking my Mandarin in school - the education officer (not a native born Singaporean) told him, if you don't like it, migrate. That was back in the 1980s.

A few years back -one PAP minister opinionated, "Quiters go to Perth" -

I don't think he really cares- he simply increases the immigration intake- and hey presto, he gets a whole bunch of newly minted citizens.

Which makes you wonder. What is a nation without its citizens? What is a national identity when the original citizens are now a minority? Does having a pink IC really make you a Singaporean?

What is Singapore? Originally it was just a small Malay fishing community.  Then a major port for the British empire. Now what? A small independent nation - mainly Chinese people who have a westernized style of government. But we do have something unique - and that's our Singapore character - our culture - the way we think and behave. Its unique. Its who we are. Its how Chinese, Indian, Malay, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist can sit down together communally and talk about how much suntun to use in curry chicken haha.

Its something distinct. I think its something special and worth valuing and hell, even worth fighting for. Isn't that what we did NS for? I certainly didn't do my NS so some rich young dude from China can drive around in his Ferrari sports car at illegal high speeds and splurge his money on the preciously finite Singapore properties.


But society is becoming increasingly polarized. The Govt has a plan to boost the population of Singapore by 100% - mostly through immigration it seems. I think any society increased artificially- if you let in too many migrants - is bound to fray with serious racial and social tensions. And it also seems the Govt is bending too far backwards to help the new migrants into Singapore. I think its damn odd and even a good metaphor for our migration policy when some HDB counselor can actually advice an Indian Singaporean family NOT to ever cook curry at all because its making a recently arrived PRC family upset. This has so many levels of WTF??? Not only that - but most of the new migrants who come in haven't served NS nor reservist. But if they are exempt by age, wealth or whatever - then why force natural born citizens to serve or penalize those who don't want to serve?

For visitors unaware of Singapore's rules - NS, or National Service - is something which the majority of Singaporean men have to do for a 2 year stretch - mostly doing military service for very low pay. When I did my NS back in the early 1990s, I was paid as a recruit about $150 a month. The chance of death, injury (permanent) are also very high. During my time in the service if someone got killed in an accident, the Govt would give the family about $2,000 (that's all folks) as compensation. Singaporeans in the past bore this without much complaint because this was their nation that they were defending. Now, with the Govt opening the floodgates to any rich dude who wants a new citizenship and somewhere to park his cash, who are we protecting again?

Meanwhile the rich are getting richer. The poor are barely getting by.

Meanwhile the well-paid Govt ministers are seemingly out of touch. Just read the headlines.

To get by - everything seems hinged upon a narrow criteria - paper qualifications, people who are excellent in all round academics win. People like Einstein (who flunked virtually all his subjects except Math) would have been relegated to a technical vocation.

Where did this style of elitist style of government come from except from LKY?

Is this what we want our nation to be?




Pastor Khong's fight against moral corruption

http://unbrandedbreadnbutter.wordpress.com/2013/09/18/magicians-and-demons-one-mans-crusade-against-moral-decrepitude/

I'm disillusioned with the idea of organized religions. They are basically run by people who want to live a certain way of life and trying to impose their sets and beliefs onto others.

If someone wants to be celibate or to marry his first girlfriend for life - go to church every Sunday, listen to boring meaningless sermons, great good for him - just don't force me to behave the same way.

I think Pastor Khong ought to sit down and re-read the gospels again. He might wonder why when Jesus Christ was on earth he spent most of his time openly criticizing the pharisees.

Personally I think that whatever consenting adults do behind closed doors in their own time is none of society's or Pastor K's concern. Mind your own business.

Having said that I believe that a marriage between a man and a woman (or two consenting adults) should be for life. The couple should work hard at making the marriage work. There is more to marriages than just feeling and emotion.

I think if you establish a special bond and trust with the person that you love - surely you would want to honor and respect that person.

I have some friends who talk glibly about emotional connections as a childish infatuation or as something you can establish with a certain type or with anyone.

I'm not them. Sex and lust are very temporary things. However, love is much stronger.

I believe that if you bond and connect with a person - if you truly love that one person than you would want to be with that person. You would want to try and build that relationships up together (and if that works - grow old together.*)

OK, I'm a diehard romantic. I believe in love. :)

*(Yet  I think that as human adults we have to acknowledge that we are fallible, weak and sometimes extramarital flings or momentary distractions can happen.... I don't think they should be encouraged. But we all make mistakes - Jesus apparently said divorce was permitted in the case of infidelity. But I really wonder whether He actually said that at all considering his instruction to his disciples to forgive people who wronged them x777.)

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Some thoughs on the City Harvest Church scandal in Singapore

I wrote this over a year ago when the CHC Scandal broke. This is a re-edit.

I find it very sad to read about the recent alleged financial mismanagement of funds at City Harvest Church  And so I don't want to read too much into it. From the little I know about CHC right from the start - esp. the wife's involvement with the music industry and their style of preaching - I found them dubious and I steered well away from that.

The misconduct of a few should not prejudice our view of the whole. Some churches are very large organizations and there will be many parts of the group that are doing a fantastic job helping the community etc.. like the Catholic Church despite its cohort of pado priests and crazy nuns.

But I'm not too surprised if the allegations are true.

As Christians we shouldn't be too shocked.  Even during the time of Jesus - one of the disciples, Judas, was stealing from the finances and virtually the entire religious leaders at the time - The Pharisees - the ancestors of fundamentalist Christians- were pretty fucked up. Then you have Jacob, Samson, King David/Bathsheba/Solomon etc.. And if you care to dig deeper into church history - you'll find a lot of corruption going on. Just Google "the Sale of Indulgences" - you won't look at the ornate and beautiful Church buildings in Rome and Europe with such glowing wonder.

Scandal (impropriety) easily happens when you give a small group of individuals an excessive amount of power. And of course its not just religious organizations - we only need to look at the Great Financial Crash of 2009 - whole nations were duped into financing a property bubble orchestrated by banks and traders and it all came crashing done. The  banking staff responsible for that almighty catastrophe are still being awarded obscene salaries and fat bonuses instead of being thrown in jail. Where is the accountability there? Before this there was the Long Term Capital Management fund collapse - then the tech crash. Anyone remember Nick Leeson who bankrupted the Barings Bank with unauthorized trades that lost nearly a billion dollars? Why isn't languishing in Changi jail? No one seemed to learn a damn thing.

And what about our own Govt and its investment arms? A lot of people are wondering how the wife of our leader can hold such an important position despite a record of appalling losses. Peanuts maybe. And who says Christians aren't the only ones who plead the need to forgive?

But that's what happens when you give a small group of individuals practically unlimited power - and don't hold them to account. Churches by their very nature are suppose to be spiritual places run by leaders of great spiritual excellence. We trust them to do the right thing. But we should also realize that we're human. We are not perfect and we do make mistakes. Just as we trust fathers not to rape their daughters - just as we trust mothers not to drown their screaming babies in the bathtub - we trust that church leaders will not cover up the misconduct of a Priest who regularly rapes his choir boys and shifts him to another unknowing congregation after he has expressed that he has repented of course!! - we trust and hope that the people in authority do what's right and just and fair.

I've always been a bit skeptical about mega churches - they always seem to have a cheerleading - rah rah zing boom rah attitude. God helps anyone who tries to sing a different song from the hymn book.

And its not just the Charismatic churches that are at fault. When I was a student - the conservative church that I was attending had another church building project fund - and the preacher was urging people to give above and beyond - give in faith. Give! Give!! Give!!!!!!! I was only a student and gave til I ran out of money for food. As people who believe in the power of prayer, in the ability of God to move mountains, to heal the blind and the deaf and the dead, to turn water into wine, all this talk about faith giving, the obsession over money left me as a young fervent believer feeling a tad confused. The verses in the Holy Scripture are there of course to be quoted. But I think the whole emphasis was wrong.

But when we assume too much. When we become complacent. When we see what's going wrong but are not allowed to speak. When the system is designed to shut up dissenters. Things start going awry. Then no one should be surprised about the awful odor.

One of my cousins asked a few weeks back before the scandal broke whether I was concerned where my offering money was heading. Yes of course. But to a certain degree I regard my monetary offering (which is terribly small and irregular by the way) as a duty and obligation before God. I do not want to be like my own father who although he was a high ranking church leader was extremely cynical about Missions and church offering. We give because it is what God wants us to do. We pray that our church leaders will do what is right with our offering. Because on that Day, we are expected to give an account to God for all the things we have done.

And it is also up to us to try and hold the church leaders to account. Gone are the days of Inquisition and church sanctioned torture - nowadays the best they can do is to ostracize members. Sadly sometimes that subtle threat is more than enough to keep people quiet. Don't rock the boat!! Christians forget that Jesus walked on water.

If you ask me - a greater emphasis should be placed on prayer, and personal devotion. Our faith should not be based upon what Pastor KH, the Pope, or whoever says. Our faith should be organic - grown from within. Of course we learn and take what we can from preachers and church teachers - but Christians forget that our faith is a relationship with God.

When Jesus said in Matthew 7:21

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ 23 Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’

How can we know the will of God if we don't pray and have spiritual fellowship with Him?

Look at King David - he led a terrible life and did appalling things- yet God loved him because he had a love and passion for God.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Mary Magdalene and her relationship with Jesus Christ

I used to think the Bible as we know of it today was set in stone - like the 10 Commandments.

But the more I read into it - the more I find out that it was just articles, poems, letters written by men, copied by men, selected by men, and ultimately chosen by a committee.

That's the awful truth.

Of course you can say that they were all divinely inspired. But let's not sugar coat this aspect of our Christian history. The real question to ask is - how much of that was divinely inspired and how big an influence or bias did the fallible side of the human writers interject into the Holy Scripture?

God didn't sit down somewhere and write the Bible out. Some dude did that, hundreds of them if you include the number of people who must have copied, rewrote, remembered and inscribed it down on paper.

The Bible as we know it wasn't formed as such until the 3rd or 4th century. Groups of Christians would have copies of texts that were passed and copied down. Certain letters were favored by bigger groups and those were ultimately chosen to be "our Bible". Other groups who held onto different texts were persecuted by the larger groups - violence against them was considered an option.

Sometime ago, copies of "The Gospel according to Mary" and "The Gospel according to Thomas" surfaced. But they were regarded by the committees and the dudes in charge of the church at that time to be considered unreliable, esp. Mary's Gospel - because of the uncomfortable role that she played in the church. Back then women were considered by men such as Paul to be inferior to men because "it was Eve who sinned first".

Have you ever wondered what exactly was Mary's role and relationship with Jesus Christ? She was there at some of the most crucial and important moments of his life. She was the only person who saw him at the Tomb on the 3rd day. She was the first person whom He met and talked to after His resurrection. I think that is significant.

Then after that - silence. She is not even mentioned in Acts as if she has been air brushed out of church history. The rest of the OT are mainly the words of Paul - a Jewish cleric who had a brief vision of Jesus on the Road to Damascus. Strange yeah? The bulk of Christian doctrine including the role of women - you're equal but sit down and shut up - come from his letters.

I found this article and I thought it was intriguing. If you are interested in reading more about Mary and the role of women in the church I suggest you read it. Its not as clear cut as the conservative church leadership would have us believe.

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history-archaeology/magdalene.html?c=y&page=1




Date a Literary Girl


Date a literary girl.
And she will take you to places you've never been.
Make love to a girl who reads
A girl who says she loves your library more than you :)
Kiss her on the lips as she reads intently from some obscure foreign novel
That has fallen behind your bed.
Laugh as she brushes you aside and kisses you back absent mindedly.
Smile as she runs her slender fingers curiously down your bookshelves.
Feel her excitement as she finds a book you love
And then she asks to borrow it.
Enthusiastically
Because nothing is more delightful,
Nothing in the world could be more wonderful
Than a girl who loves my books.
YMC July 2013.

I wrote this back in June. I met a girl. Invited her over to my place eventually. She was vibrant. She was cool. She liked my books. And borrowed one on a diary of a woman living through the London Blitz - I gave her another one - a gilded decorated copperplate illustrated copy of the Rubaiyat. I wonder whether she still has it, or whether she has thrown them away? I hope she hasn't. I still think of her as a good person who loves books.

The Bible and 21st century morality

There has been some furor among some of my friends regarding whether it is acceptable to allow homosexuals to marry.

Sometime ago, I would have taken the Biblical approach - homosexuality is a sin and therefore homosexuals cannot marry.

Lately, however, I've become more reflective on the whole issue and the need to regard the Bible as the absolute Word of God.

The Bible has a lot of things to say - Jesus said, Sell all your possessions and give to the poor. He also said during the time approaching his crucification that we have to carry a sword. Before that He said turn the other cheek if someone strikes you.

Anyway, should homosexuals marry?

I'm not a homosexual. I love (some) women. I love being intimate with my female lover. Having said that - I never asked to be a heterosexual; I was born this way. No amount of brainwashing is going to convince me otherwise.

I think if someone is born a homosexual - and please no frivolous campus jokes - why should we as a society prevent two consenting adults from doing what other consenting heterosexual adults from doing?

Ah, then someone will say - well, they can't have kids - ergo, their relationship is a sham. I think that is a ridiculous argument. What if a heterosexual couple is barren, unable to conceive - should we ban them from marriage?

Recently some of my Christians friends had an argument over the issue. One of them was presenting very valid points for pro-homosexual marriage. But what I found very troubling was the fact that my other Christian friends - instead of debating on the issue - were resorting to name calling. They started parroting each other's accusations against this "heretic"; and I thought they were rational sensible people. If this was 2,000 years ago, they would have all been picking up rocks and stoning the dude for stepping out of line.

I don't have the answers to all the questions and problems regarding homosexual marriages.

But I turn to the words of Jesus - in this case: "the Sermon on the Mount"

In particular Matt 7:12

12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

I'm not sure which Torah or Old Testament Jesus was reading from - but my reading of Jewish Law with its endless rules ordained by God - esp. with references to tortuous executions for non-virgin brides - doesn't connect. Deuteronomy 22 . No, I'm sorry. Don't you dare say "context"!!! I say its fucked up. Its not ok to kill a new bride just because she doesn't seem to be a virgin. And its not ok 2,000 years ago either. God is suppose to be the same yesterday today and forever. I don't know how those commands got in - but I think its not godly, its fubar. If you dare try and defend it I suggest you first take a rock and smash yourself in the head with it a few times just to find out how it feels.

But Jesus' words - those words - "Do unto others what you want others to do to you" is powerful to me, its eternal, its holy. I believe it.

I want to get married one day to the girl whom I love - someone whom connects with me, loves and respects me and we get along fabulously together.

Having said that - if someone else wants to marry the person he or she loves - even if they are of the same gender. Why should I stop them? Society is an artificial construct. We make the laws. I cannot in good conscious pass a law forbidding them to get married. Because Jesus said  in the book of Matthew 7:12.


12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

There are also other unpleasant stuff that Jesus said regarding sin, eye gorging, mutilation, lust, and divorce. If Christians want to regard the Bible as the absolute Word of God - I suggest they think seriously about those verses as well before they try behaving like modern day pharisees.









 


Saturday, September 14, 2013

Dolphin Hymn

I swim the deep blue
To depths no man has been
I am wild
I am free
You will not touch me


Yet you come with hook and net
To ensnare to kill
You would devour the entire sea for your next meal
You herd my brethen
You cage some.
You kill the others.

We who were once many
Are now so few
You who were once so few
Are now so many
One day you will kill us all
Even me
But not today


As I rise up to breathe
I break free
from the bounds of my watery world
I jump
Briefly I fly
I soar through the sky
I feel so alive.

       Yauming Chiam 2013  

(I took this photo of the dolphins at Niue. I swam out from the zodiac boat and the dolphins swam around me. It was a marvelous experience.)

I took some videos - they are on vimeo here
Dolphin Swim at Niue closeup from Yauming Ymc on Vimeo.




The Marlin swim from Yauming Ymc on Vimeo.

Morning Walk

I try and go for a run or walk in the morning. Its cold here in the morning and everything is an irritation to do. Get out of bed. Cold. Put on the running clothes. Cold. Walk downstairs. Cold. Put on the running shoes. Aiyoh Cold!!!

Thankfully it was a bit more pleasant this morning. Its Spring. And the temperature is rising.

I like to run at Ruffey Lake Park - Doncaster/ Templestowe. Its big, wide, plenty of greenery and you get a good walk there.

It also helps to clear my mind.

I consider myself a spiritual person. A Christian at heart. I believe that God in the form of a man called Jesus died for me, to save me from my sins. I believe that I shouldn't judge others. I believe in the message where He said -Matthew 7:12 "So in everything, do to others what you would want others to do you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets"

(I don't understand how Jesus managed to get that from reading the Law - because when I read it, I find a lot of crazy stuff about brutally killing people who sinned. God knows how He came up with that phrase of his - which makes me wonder about the rest of the Bible as well.)

Anyway, when I run - I also pray. And this is the prayer I prayed today. 

I prayed for the people that I love and the people that are close to me. I also prayed for direction in my life and...

"I pray Almighty God that you would grant me an extraordinary life. A life where your Spirit moves through me. A life of grace. A life of inner peace. A life where I reach my potential and find fulfillment." 

or something like that. It helps.
.

I like for you to be still by Pablo Neruda

I like (some) poetry. Its a ballet of words that come together to form a concert. When it is read well - it can be an opera. This reading of the poem by Glenn Close - wow - it does it for me. You feel it. You feel the anguish of the lover lost and forever hoping.


Friday, September 13, 2013

Some Directions for Singapore in South East Asia

I think Singapore has got a great deal to offer to the South East Asia region.

Its got a stable government, a fairly efficient (and not corrupt) civil and military service, and a cohesive multicultural society. Law and order is taken for granted, and women and children feel safe to take the city's public transport at night (something which even Western developed nations can't boast). In Australia, UK, America - its not safe for women to walk home at night. The justice system is so crap that even if the rapist is caught - he's often let out in 1 or 2 years time only to reoffend again.

Everything is relative. You only need to look at the other countries in the region like the Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, Burma to muse that Singapore is doing pretty well for a country that has practically no resources and not too long ago was beset with bloody racial riots and massive unemployment.

Singaporeans may think that their benign multicultural society just happened by chance - but it took a great deal of social engineering by the Government to make it so. Its immensely difficult to create a harmonious multicultural society. The liberal democratic nations with their emphasis on individual rather than community rights don't seem to grasp this fact. Germany, and several Northern European nations, have failed in this respect. Even in Australia, a very rich and prosperous nation, racial tensions have increased and there has even been a big racial riot - Cronella - a few years back. Certain ethnic groups are also armed to the teeth with guns, swords - and the police are usually impotent to deal with the problem.

But in this chaotic region, there's a great opportunity for Singapore. It can offer its own template for success to these nations.  The best way is through education and training.

Of course we can't just march in and announce our arrival like a "white knight" or to even make the terrible presumption that we can be a conduit, a stepping stone or anything metaphorically significant. LKY sometime back had the temerity to suggest to China that Singapore could help it open its doors to the West. Yes that might be true - but he can't say that publicly. Since when did a gnat tell an elephant how to behave?

But we can set up schools and training facilities in the region.

The region - which is resource rich - badly needs trained engineers, doctors, civil servants, managers, skilled workers.

These schools that can also  train a new generation that is imbued with the Singapore way of thinking - an order built upon stability meritocracy, cooperation, and non-violence.

What are Singaporeans good at? Ask ourselves that question.

We seem to be good at building infrastructures, institutions, and a working civil multi-racial society.

We should be trying to import this system to our neighbors.

Its been said - "An idea is one of the most powerful insidious viruses known to man". That is how "Christianity", "Capitalism", "Meritocracy", even "Communism" has overtaken the minds of men and shaped their societies.

At the heart of all our actions is an idea. "Work hard, get a career, make money = success", "I invest because I trust my Govt not to tax me or confiscate my wealth"etc.., "I will fight and die for my country because it is the honorable thing to do."

Ideas makes the world go around. Once men's minds are captured by an idea they will move heaven and earth to make it happen.











Thursday, September 12, 2013

Vintage Typewriter - Imperial - 80 years old

One of my pet hobbies is buying unusual stuff on eBay. Well, unusual to most people - its fun for me.

One of the things I like to buy are the old vintage typewriters. The ones which are over 50 - 100 years old. The ones with glass keys, cast iron bodies and the ones that give off that beautiful clack-clack sound when you hit the keys. There is also a satisfying tactile touch and feel to the whole process.

It seems silly to buy such an obsolete machine. (Most of my typewriters require some form of repair as well).

As a writer, however, I love these machines. You hit a key, and clack clack the letter or symbol comes out on paper, permanent, you can't erase it unless you destroy the paper.

And when you type you are forced by the rigid medium to keep on going - you can't go back and correct - you can't fuss over the last word - you just hammer it out. And that produces a certain beauty.


How to be a CHC Christian by James Tan

I thought this was too hilarious not to share. Actually this can apply to most churches unfortunately. I found this amusing because I've spent my entire life living under such a conservative regime. I had to leave the system because I was tired of defending a system that I no longer believed in. I worship a living God, not a book. I disagree with certain aspects of the bible and I can no longer attend a church which believes that the Bible is the absolute Word of God.

I believe that the worship of God should be genuine, heart felt, and not manufactured or fabricated - that's akin to spiritual masturbation. Ask yourself - is your spiritual experience genuine or are you just following the crowd - going along with everyone else? Is it hysterics? Human emotion?

I don't want to be moved by the voice of a man, by some clever words, by atmospherics (the light piano church music), - that is pure theatre, showmanship - and has nothing to do with the power of God.

I want to experience the presence of God - I don't want my religious experience to be manufactured.

****


How to become a CHC Christian Now! by James Tan.

19 Steps to becoming City Harvest Church member

1. Confess to the world that you love Jesus, and intend to follow Him and devote your life to Him. It does not matter if you do not mean it, just saying it will guarantee acceptance from your CHC brothers and sisters.

2. Acquire the skill of speaking in tongues, get water-baptized and claim you feel that your life has been change. Do not pass on any opportunity to claim that your conversion is attributed to Kong Hee only.

3. Attend all CHC services and events. In case you fail to go to service, follow the service on your iPad, iPhone, or Mac Workbook. Consequently post some willy nilly phrases on your facebook to create the impression that you were in church. If you do not own a iPAd or iPhone, pretend to put money in the envelope yet instead use it to purchase this necessity.

4.Use following rules of conduct during worship:

-- Put your face into the “gaze into eternity” mode: practice to perfection in front of the mirror.

-- Raise your hands in devotion: this part is easy ,just follow your neighbour worshipper.

--Sing along with all the songs. If you do not know the words, pretend as the music is so loud that nobody will tell the difference

--Always stand up when asked to do so, and start to clap frantically when Kong Hee releases the “Let’s-give-the-lord-a-clap” command.

-- Wiping away a tear once in a while and sighing every 4 minutes might get you on the video screen. This earns respect from fellow worshippers

-- Shout “Amen”, “Hallelujah”, “Praise the lord”, “Thank you Jesus” or read the words in bold on the screen out loud, when instructed by Kong Hee.

--This is also the time to put your newly acquired “speaking in tongues” into practice. Don't be nervous and do not hold back, just shut down your brain and make it up as you go along. everybody else does. A few beers before service might help.

--Extra devotional points, and guaranteed camera coverage can be obtained by falling to the floor, shaking your body, laughing frantically while yelling “AH-JAYSUS”

--If any first timers stand up next to you, be the first to welcome them to the greatest church in Singapore. If hot and sexy, hug them.

--Always check who is sitting next to you. Ensure you are seated next to good looking fellow members. Chances are, Kong Hee will ask you to hug them, or hold their hand. And when, no need to hold back, give it a good squeeze as Kong Hee has allowed you to do.

5. Every service, make sure you put a large amount of money in the bucket. Make sure that everyone in your vicinity sees you giving money. Try to get camera attention by letting the tears run from your eyes. If you have no money, pretend, the room is too dark for anybody to notice. Better to keep the money for the cellgroup meeting’s offering, so you can boast how generous you are, and avoid being reported to Kong Hee.

6. When listening to Kong Hee, or your CHC friends, occasionally confuse something they say with something that Jesus had said. This will impress them, and they will think highly of you. Or at least you will not be blacklisted yet.

7. Stop reading the Bible. Only read from your notes from CHC Bible school, or the services. Preferably learn following verses by heart, or have page markers, so you can quickly pull them out:
  1. Malachi 3:10 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heavenAND POUR OUT SO MUCH BLESSING THAT THERE WILL NOT BE ROOM ENOUGH TO STORE IT.
  2. Joshua 1:8 for then thou shalt make thy way PROSPEROUS, and then thou shalt HAVE GOOD SUCCESS
  3. Isaiah 54:17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall PROSPER;
  4. 3 John 1:2 I wish above all things that thou mayest PROSPER and be in HEALTH, even as thy soul PROSPERETH
  5. Phil 4:18 But my God SHALL SUPPLY ALL YOUR NEED ACCORDING TO HIS RICHES …
  6. 2 Cor 8:9 For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though he was RICH (important to stop the verse right here )
  7. Job 8:5,7and make the habitation of thy righteousness PROSPEROUS. 7 Though thy beginning was small, yet thy latter end should GREATLY INCREASE
  8. Job 22:25 Yea, the Almighty shall be thy defence, and thou shalt have PLENTY OF SILVER.

Avoid any verses that sound like: suffering of Christ -- Camels going thru needle eyes -- Thou shall be content -- the Son of God had nowhere to lay is head -- Thou shall not add anything to the Word of God -- Only 2 maximum 3 can speak in tongues -- False prophets come with great signs … and discard all the verses where God kills firstborns, pregnant women, as you have not learned to put them into context, it might damage your gullible spirituality.

8. Regularly quote Kong Hee. This will impress other CHC’ers of your “Biblical” knowledge, even if you do not know squat about theology.

9. Believe in all Kong Hee’s, or CHC guest’s revelations, regardless of how silly they may seem. Even if you do not believe in them, just pretend, same as everybody else.

10. Abandon all sound reason and critical thinking. This is imperative. It is not possible to become an honest CHC member if you question Kong Hee’s teachings with reason or scepticism. This would be the fastest way for you to become a “backslider”.

11. Smile a lot to everyone you see. Say you love them even when you hate them. You must pretend at all costs, to love your worst enemies even if it kills them in the end. This is even more valid towards NCC and FCBC members. See also next point.

12. Attempt to convert your “unbelieving” friends. This means mainstream Christians, as well as NCC and FCBC non-believers. Make an ass out of yourself to the point of getting them angry. Make sure you always keep smiling and tell them how much you love them. This will escalate their anger and leave you fully satisfied. If they persist, claim that they are in league with the Devil and only faith in Jesus can release them (make sure you keep smiling).

13. If anyone presents reasonable arguments against CHC, simply go into denial. Say that their tempting only makes your faith grow stronger. Never submit to them. No worries, after 3 services or so, the Kong Hee mantra “Do not let them hijack your faith” will kick in automatically.

14. If anybody quotes a verse from the Bible that contradicts Kong Hee’s position, simply say that they're taking that verse out of context. The out-of-context ploy will get you out of many difficult situations and will make it seem that you actually understand the correct context when in fact you don't.

15. Advertise your CHC membership.
Examples: keep a Kong Hee (for the females*) or Sun Ho (for the males*) picture in your wallet or use him as your wallpaper. Always positive to wear Ed Hardy clothes from Christian Audigier or accessories from Skin Couture. * The reverse is not allowed as Kong Hee does not like gay people.

16. Show unconditional support to Kong Hee. If the situation requires, drag banners into service or call to arms on the internet. Violently disagree when accused of idolizing Kong Hee or Sun Ho

17. Marry within the church and send your kids to the free-of charge brainwash sessions in “children’s church. Profess family values. If you catch your hubby cheating on you, never let CHC know. Never get a divorce, regardless of how miserable you both feel. If the news does get out, pray you have money so you can have the Jack Neo treatment.

18. Buy all the "devotional" material that is on offer. Make sure your cell group leader hears about this. If it is Sun Ho developed stuff, buy in 10-fold to ensure extra blessings.

19. The ultimate sacrifice and all time will always be: Give your possessions away to CHC. The Bible says give all you have to anyone who asks (Luke 6:30). Kong Hee is asking every week to give him all your money, to sell your house, car,… Warning: If you do not do this, you are disobeying a direct Jesus request. However, if you do obey this command, Kong Hee will guarantee you a Christian position and you will garner his greatest esteem and respect until the well dries up.

Source: James_Tan_1983
http://sgforums.com/forums/4163/topics/448275

20. Believe that the Bible is the absolute Word of God. Don't think. Just believe even if your conscious is troubled.