Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Singapore Christmas Carols

SMinisters Whose Pay is High
(to the tune of ‘Angels We Have Heard on High’)

Ministers whose pay is high
We still kena pay and pay
Even though we’re all pok kai
Kan ni na bu chao chee bay

Refrain:
Po-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ok kai leow
Why should we all pay them
Po-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ok kai leow
Why should we all pa-a-ay them

Ministers who sit above
See us all as waste of space
They want us to get out of
Their elite uncaring face
Refrain

They want us to work till death
And claim it’s ne-cessary
They delay our CPF
While they raise their salary
Refrain

Yuck! The Civil Servants Rap
(to the tune of ‘Hark! The Herald Angels Sing’)
ingaporean Christmas Carols


THE LITTLE HUMMER BOY
(Sung to the tune of ‘The Little Drummer Boy’)

So they served me (mai hum mai hum hum)
A plate of mee siam (mai hum mai hum hum)
Or laksa, did they say (mai hum mai hum hum)
What’s the diff anyway (mai hum mai hum hum, hum mai hum hum, hum mai hum hum)

I hate hawker food (mai hum mai hum hum)
And these bums

I have no idea (mai hum mai hum hum)
What swill these peasants eat (mai hum mai hum hum)
Is that a seafood dish (mai hum mai hum hum)
I hope there’re no shellfish (mai hum mai hum hum, hum mai hum hum, hum mai hum hum)

Cockles go through me (mai hum mai hum hum)
Right through my bum

I hate to be a boor (mai hum mai hum hum)
But I must be sure (mai hum mai hum hum)
This mee siam has no hum (mai hum mai hum hum)
I ne’h ate it before (mai hum mai hum hum, hum mai hum hum, hum mai hum hum)

Why do they look at me (mai hum mai hum hum)
Like I am dumb?
 
IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE N.S.
(sung to the tune of ‘It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas’)

It’s beginning to look a lot like NS
Very soon you’ll go
Say goodbye to your ol’ girlfriend
You won’t see her again
When up that green three tonner truck you go
It’s beginning to look a lot like NS
Take it like a man
And don’t be over-wrought
For here you’ll learn a lot
Like swearing in Hokkien

A pair of weatherproof boots
And a rifle that shoots
Will become your new best pals
And after you’re done
When you meet friends for fun
You can’t talk of anything else
And all your wives can’t understand
And find you sian as hell.

It’s beginning to look a lot like NS
No use asking why
Well-brought up young boys
Suddenly like making noise
And yelling [well-known 7 syllable Hokkien expletive deleted]
It’s beginning to look a lot like NS
It will help you grow
So no use being stressed
There’s no escape unless
You play great piano
 
O Income Gap
(to the tune of ‘O Christmas Tree’)

O income gap, O income gap!
How come you are still growing?
O income gap, O income gap!
When pay is overflowing!

Why are some paid much higher
While others can’t retire

O income gap, O income gap!
Where do we think we’re going?
 
All I Want for Christmas is My CPF
(to the tune of ‘All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth’)

All I want for Christmas is my CPF
My CPF! Yes, my CPF!
Gee, if I could only have my CPF
Then I could siam this little island

It won’t be long before they say
We have to work until we’re six feet under
How we voted in those clowns
I can only wonder

All I want for Christmas is my CPF
My CPF! Yes, my CPF!
Gee, if I could only have my CPF
I could retire now in Thailand


Yuck! The civil servants rap
Can’t they tell that they are crap?
They think they are cre-a-tive
But reaction’s negative
Do they think it’s damn funny
Wasting tax pay-ers’ money
Making stu-pid vi-de-os
To show off their big egos
Yuck! The civil servants rap
We should give them one tight slap!

O Little Isle of Singapore
(to the tune of ‘O Little Town of Bethlehem’)

O little isle of Singapore
Less than five hundred feet
The Brits named you Pedra Branca
‘Cos you’re co-vered in white bird shit
On you we built a lighthouse
So passing ships won’t sink
But now those chao Ma-la-aysians
Are causing a big stink

So we’ll go fight Ma-la-ay-sia
All the way to the Hague
We know we’ll win, their claims are thin
And more than a little vague
They’ll try to claim we’re greedy
That’s classic Malaysia
Their evidence? It’s all copied
From blogs and Wikipedia
 
(oh sorry malaysians... didn't see this one when I cut and paste! no offence ah!)

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