I swam with 1. whales briefly,
2. saw a whale coming towards us at ramming speed before it dived. I saw its tail flip in the air underwater.
3. spent what seemed like hours swimming with wild dolphins with a flying fish in my hand.
4. saw small schools of barrcuda, wahoo, sharks.
5. spent over an hour listening to whales singing underwater
6. and also spent hours staring at an empty sea.
7. Swam with an unknown shark with a huge tail until it disappeared and I realized what a stupid idea it was to be in the same water, lying in perfect view on top of the ocean with a big shark which you could not see.
But the shadow over the whole trip was wondering what happened to the happy girl I invited for the trip who got cold feet or something and cancelled last minute.
Pain is real. Own it. Express it in your words. Don't take it out on other people. Internalize it. Make it part of your own psyche to strength you, to teach you to help you be a better person.