Saturday, October 05, 2013

What women/ men really want

 People are shallow. Generally. (Many) women will marry for wealth. (Many) men will marry for sex (sexual attraction).

But what people really need - because most people don't really know what they want - is ...

   Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement.

    They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever.

    Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon.

    You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

    (Bob Marley.)

I think Marley's words ring true. I also think that only immature or insecure people marry for wealth or physical attraction alone. Having said that for many women in 3rd world countries - marrying for wealth - is often a ticket out of whatever horrible status they were originally in.

But for myself - I think the most important reason to get married is to be with someone who encourages and motivates you. Bound with that is a good dose of respect and love.

Speaking as a man, I would not abide a woman, not matter how beautiful, who shows me no respect and continually condescends to me.

No one is perfect - we are human beings and fallible creatures. If you can't tolerate someone's weaknesses - and seek to constantly put them down over it - I suggest you just walk out of that relationship. Its toxic.

Having said that I'm not suggesting that a someone should tolerate a partner who is a drug abuser, has an uncontrollable temper and is abusive. Please no.

My main reference would be my own parents. I look at my father - sure he was untidy, a bit unkempt, but he was a faithful, decent hardworking father who deserved a little more respect from his own wife. I shudder at how my mother chose to nag him to death over very trivial matters - losing her temper because he chose to wore a pair of pants that had some paint splatter. He did so much for her, he didn't boast about it - but it was clear to see.

Is the glass half full or half empty? For some people they don't even realize they are holding a glass of precious water until it is taken from them - and then its too late.

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