SINGAPORE: So far everyone is talking about the former chief of Protocol of the Ministry of F.All who is accused of cheating on something... his PSLE score or whatever.
But the real news is that the former chief of pineapple at the Ministry of Food
Affairs, Chin Ho Ah, was charged with multiple counts of cheating, totaling
over USD$50,000.00 (over SGD$80,000).
The chief faces charges
of cheating the MFA by submitting false expense claims. Allegedly he grossly inflated the quantity of pineapple tarts bought and used for official trips and visits.
claimed more than 10,000 boxes of pineapple tarts but officially used about
Sidenote: For a change photographers were distracted from the Serene Wee Show. She was apparently very annoyed at being upstaged by such a human excuse for a charsiu pao. "Good Gucci!!! How can my photos in your SD cards share it with photos of that ... thing?? You shoot RAW too... yeeeew. I come all dress so nice for what? Singapore's moral decay is nigh!!", she was heard to exclaim.
Pineapple tarts cannot be accounted for
MFA Officials are baffled where all the pineapple tarts have disappeared to. A through search of the accused's home has come up inconclusive. All this hard work was actually making them feel a bit hungry. And they could have done with a couple of boxes. MFA officials promise not to leave no tart untouched in their zeal to uncover the matter. Investigations have moved the search to Geylang to find more tarts.
On other media matters, Madam Go, Patron of National Kidney Food, exasperatedly told off a Shitte Times reporter for pestering her with stupid questions regarding any familiarity with the defendant.
"No. I dunno who he is. What? He cheated SGD"$80,000!!!??? ONLY??? You wake up me at 11am to ask me this kinna cock question? "Aiyo $80k lah. I dun even let my hubby get out of bed for less than $100k. C'mon, its peanuts! Peanuts lah!!!"
M. Go hung up when informed it was pineapple tarts not peanuts.
This is in case you are wondering a satirical piece and bears no relation whatsoever on reality.