Monday, August 31, 2009

Top Ten Quotes that make me Wary

(note: most of these notes are written in sarcasm and thus not to be taken literally.)

1. Trust me I know what I'm doing.
(Actions speak louder than words. And unfortunately when defensive phrases get used, invariably its done as part of a scam. This phrase is deeply burnt into my sub-conscious after it was repeated to me in a series of fucking unmitigated disasters by a confident person many years ago. The first time I heard it I was wary, the subsequent times only brought about an increasing sense of revulsion and dread. Oh no, not again.)

2. You're doing this for God.
(A simple "Please" might suffice. When I hear this phrase, I think of the Children's Crusades. I really don't like it when people over-spiritualise.)

3. This time its different.
(I heard this phrase during the boom, I believed it and got screwed. The next time I heard this phrase being bandied about, I sold out of the market, bought puts and made a small fortune.)

4. The leaders know what they are doing.
(Leaders who are especially confident and hate criticism... somehow they remind me of Hitler, a real success story in 1940. Pity about 1945.)

5. Don't worry, it should go OK.
(I'm worried because you've just jinxed us.)

6. Success!!! What else could go wrong?
(After successfully completing a big sale a few years back, I was overawed by the success, I smiled, "Perfect, what else could go wrong?" A @#$ing lot, apparently. But after reading Bible/Luke 12:16 - 20, I think that I got off quite lightly.)

7. Thus saith the Lord...
(This makes me flinch. Its used too often in church history for dubious purposes. Read the Crusades.)

8. Trust your gut feeling.
(Its magical when it works, like astrology and fortune telling, pity about the times it doesn't.)

9. You're not trying hard enough.
(Or perhaps the plan sucks? No, really. I think of Kitchner, Hitler or Tojo exhorting their men to fight harder.)

10. Its a good learning experience.
(Like the WW1 Battle of Passchendaele. Doesn't take a genius to figure out that enthusiasm probably won't stop machine gun bullets, but I guess its worth givin it a shot.)

10a. Its unsinkable. Totally safe.
(Think Titanic)


Jeremy N said...

I'll add one: "you need to shift your paradigm"
Means: I don't make sense, but I'll attempt to appear on a higher intellectual plane so that I don't need to justify my words/actions.

Yauming YMC said...

I was thinking of something like that - but they usually say... "Oh, you don't understand." Unfortunately those type of people are in their very own special realm where normal logic and reason do not apply. I dread those conversations because I am so tempted to reply, "Oh really?? Well, let me put it to you in plain English then, gnat strainer." Thankfully the Holy Spirit intervenes.