Bullying, Depression, Suicide - getting out

Sometimes people can be very cruel. And for some idiots - being cruel to someone else can become like a sport. Usually it happens to people who are generally affable and good natured - because they are the ones less likely to react and give the bullies the beating they deserve.

Sometimes you just can't win. The people who aren't affected don't know the personal hell you are going through - and come up with cliches - "turn the other cheek.", "don't worry this will pass", "laugh it off" etc...

But the daily strain of being bullied - ridiculed in public - constantly - is mental abuse. You can't see the scars, bruises, no legs are broken, but you are dehumanized and the spirit is crushed. And what is a human being if his spirit is broken?

I hate people who got out of their way to make life unpleasant for others. People who delight in calling people names - demeaning them. May God reserve a special place in hell for such bullies, an eternity in torment.

I bring to you the story of Christine Hodder, 38, a beautiful woman, married mother who had almost completed her Bachelor of Nursing degree when she killed herself in her backyard.

What I find terribly sad - is that she should have quit from the place of employment. Experiencing a day of this bullshit is bad enough. Having to endure it for over 8 years from her colleagues is just unbelievable. Having been in that sort of position - I can understand why she endured it for so long. She probably felt trapped. She thought if she left - it would an admission of defeat. She may have even thought that eventually the bullying would cease. Or that her good works would cause her workplace bullies to eventually respect her.

In that respect, she was wrong to believe in that humanitarian lie. Humans are not naturally good and civil. They are generally selfish. And too many behave worse than animals. Doing good often brings about ridicule - especially in an immoral society.

Sometimes you just need to bail. Get out of the place if you can. Quit the job. Quit the region. Runaway from the threat. Noone will condemn a child if he runs away from a tiger, a lion, a wolf, a rabid dog. So what should people feel bad if they are in a job position which is untenable? They are many instances of people fleeing from persecution - who in the end made good somewhere else - ie the early Christians who fled from Roman persecution and spread the Gospel worldwide, the Puritan Christians who ran away from Europe to settle in America... the Chinese in the 18th - 19th century who fled their precious country to live overseas - and some prospered greatly.

While there may be glory in fighting to the last, sometimes its better to escape and live to fight another day. Lose the Battle - win the War.

We have to remember that we are humans - made of destructible flesh and bone. Dust. Prone to failure.

Christine was probably not in a sound frame of mind when she committed suicide. I wish I had known her - and could have counseled her to get out of that sick work environment. Break contact. She needed sometime apart so that she could recuperate, relax, and gain clarity of thought and mind.

I do pray that somehow God is in his wisdom would find her a better place in eternity. (I don't support the Catholic idea of suicide=hell) Well, who knows?

Whilst you may not be a victim of bullying - I think its worthwhile to pause and think about the number of times you, we kept silent (or even smiled) when someone else got ridiculed unfairly or was bullied. By not supporting the victim, and opposing the bullies - aren't we also partly to blame?

Click here for more details on Christine.

CHRISTINE HODDER, 38, was a much-loved woman with a husband and a three-year-old daughter, and had almost completed her Bachelor of Nursing degree when she killed herself in her backyard.

Ms Hodder, after enduring years of bullying by male colleagues at Cowra ambulance station, where she was the first and only female officer, hanged herself on her child's swing in April, 2005, a parliamentary inquiry into the NSW Ambulance Service has heard.

She could not even leave her car at work because the tyres were let down, her toilet at work was urinated "all over" and she was constantly ridiculed by fellow officers in front of patients, her mother-in-law, Carolynn Hodder, has told the inquiry in a written submission. She believed her death was the culmination of

sustained victimisation by colleagues since she started at Cowra in 1999. She said the bullying went up the line to management and was ignored.

Christine Hodder had lodged two formal complaints, one in 2001 and another a few months before she died, about bullying and harassment by several officers and had twice been on stress leave.

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On other news: The Suicide Index: Putting my Father's Death in Order

Joan Wickersham: When you kill yourself, you kill every memory everyone has of you