Latch - Disclosure ft. Sam Smith (Diogo Piçarra & Cláudio Martins Cover)

Love the piano intro

Do women like being dominated during sex?

http://www.thefrisky.com/2009-06-01/first-time-for-everything-spanking/

 http://www.yourtango.com/200935652/emotional-side-rough-sex

And the answer is -  like most things in life - some do, some don't. But the surprising thing for me is that a large number of women including intelligent smart women actually say YES. They enjoy being dominated during sex if they are in the mood for it.

Domination sex is primeval. It pulls us back to the past - its fantasy. It will allow you to explore a side of you that you considered dark, exciting.

The idea of domination/submission in sex would seem absolutely perverse to any feminist. Not too long ago I assumed that no woman would enjoy rough sex - the idea was anathema. I've been brought up to treat women kindly. To open doors for them. To treat them with gentleness and utmost respect. And yes women appreciate such gestures but they also (some) enjoyed being banged hard. "Seriously WTF?!"

After asking some close female friends they candidly admitted that they enjoyed the feeling of submission and being dominated in bed. No, they weren't abused as children or suffer from daddy complexes. They were pretty, normal, well adjusted women.

There seem to be a deep seated desire within some women for the man to be a man which allows her to come back to a feminine role in bed. Sex is a little more than the gentle romantic loving lovemaking with KennyG music in the background. Read the two links above. Some women want the man to take charge and to desire and ravish her like there is no tomorrow.


Usually these girls who are more comfortable about their sexuality and body. They are not ashamed about their sexuality nor do they think that sex is a sin or that their body is somehow inherently dirty or evil.

What does "being dominated during sex" mean? Its a Tango sex dance where the guy takes firm control of the lead.
 
(Domination sex/ rough sex is also going to illicit a lot of negative replies. I think some of the more dangerous and sinister ones borders and leads onto rape and abuse. Look, let's not go to the extremes. This is the 21st century - rape and abuse is wrong, evil. If you find yourself in an abusive relationship - ie one where your partner does not respect you, belittles, and physically and mentally torments you and also forces you without your consent to have sex - please get out of it.)

Being dominated during sex is basically allowing the male lover to take control of the lovemaking totally and willingly.* Its giving him the authority and you submit to it. You are there for his pleasure. This may mean he will push her boundaries and maybe even inflict some pain. (The reverse opposite may also transpire - ie. the guy is the submissive and the girl is dominant. If that's what you2 are into - that's OK2 - haha) You may think of pain as something awful and to be avoided. However we endure a fair bit of pain when we go running, rock climbing, exercising in the gym, or getting a deep tissue massage. Obviously we're not talking about the sort of pain that takes you to the hospital in an ambulance.

This would involve:

1. the man firmly initiating, leading and ordering the woman to do what he wants in the bedroom.
2. holding the woman down during sex.
3. the woman being roughly kissed, groped, face fucked.
4. slapping. face slapping, bum slapping
5. Passion and Spontaneity - which means the dude not randomly/frequently stopping, lying back, and asking questions like "are you ok?"**
6. the use of coarse or vulgar language like calling her a bitch, whore or getting her to say submissive things like "Please fuck me" etc..
7. indulging in fantasy - BDSM etc..
8. Honesty: she has to be upfront over what she doesn't like to do. If she says she hates it- don't do it.

9.  Important: the use of safe words or gestures to half proceedings, esp. to prevent injury. There is a clear need to go with the flow but a safety valve has to be in place. "Ow!!!", "STOP STOP", or special ones like "Rain".

*The key here is all this - its the indulgence of a fantasy:  the submission, the loss of control while pushing her boundaries, has to be done within safe limits - and the girl has the clear cut power to end the action if it goes beyond her comfort zone or health. Its the same thrill from a roller coaster ride, parachuting out of an airplane, watching a horror film. The girl will experience a certain loss of control, being uncomfortable etc.. but this has to be done within safe limits to prevent it from becoming abuse, or worse causing serious injury.

** The dominant (ie the male) should be careful that he is not going so far as to endanger her health, well-being, and personal safety. Having said that - if you frequently stop once the heat is on you're going to spoil the rhythm - but that requires you to actually have a certain amount of common sense and emotional connection with your partner for this and not cause actual harm. That's why the use of safe words or gestures is very important. If you don't know - please take your time to talk to your partner and work it out.

If she doesn't want it, don't do it. Don't force her to do what she doesn't want. That's dangerous.


A girl who allows herself to be dominated during sex - will want to do it with a lover who respects her (boundaries) and treats her with dignity outside the bedroom. This would enable her to allow herself to be vulnerable, soft, feminine, and to let go without fear - like bungee jumping. I mean one reason why people bungee jump is to experience that adrenalin rush - but no one (in her right mind) is going to jump if there was a serious danger of getting injured.

The key words here are paradoxically trust, respect. Moreover the couple should feel comfortable and know each other well - as well as their own limits. Domination/ Rough sex is a roller coaster ride. You ride that baby, you scream, and then you get off and walk out the gate feeling exhilarated and have a cup of hot tea.

***
The other issue is of course - do men like dominating women during sex? Personally I think the word dominating sounds ridiculous. Maybe a better word would be taking the lead during sex?

As a man, I might as well give my point of view on this. I enjoy the thrill of it. I enjoy playing the masculine role, being the active participant in the moment. Not that I want my girl to just lie back - passive like - like a lump of clay. No, no. I want her to also play an active role in it - but one that mainly follows my lead and my direction. Its a Tango dance. Trust is sexy. Trust in letting me take the reins. Trust in letting me drive her to oblivion. Power is sexy. I love how she submits and lets me take charge. And exerting my strength on her, gripping her tightly, and overwhelming her with my masculine desire is really a powerful aphrodisiac. Most of all I enjoy that she enjoys it and wants more.

This of course should not be a constant theme in all sexual relationships otherwise that would become predictable, boring, and just plain wrong and selfish. But it should be an area that you might want to explore from time to time.



If you are academically inclined and want to read up on it. Here are some references:

Bancroft, J. The endocrinology of sexual arousal. J Endocrinol, 186:411-427, 2005.
Chivers ML, G Rieger, E Latty and JM Bailey. A sex difference in the specificity of sexual arousal. Psychol Sci, 15:736-744, 2004.
Graham CA, SA Sanders, RR Milhausen and KR McBride. Turning on and turning off: A focus group study of the factors that affect women’s sexual arousal. Arch Sex Behav, 33:527-538, 2004.
Hald GM. Gender differences in pornography consumption among young heterosexual Danish adults. Arch Sex Behav, 35:577-585, 2006.
Hoffmann H, E Janssen and SL Turner. Classical conditioning of sexual arousal in women and men: Effects of varying awareness and biological relevance of the conditioned stimulus. Arch Sex Behav, 33:43-53, 2004.
Laan E, W Everaerd, R van Berlo and L Rijs. Mood and sexual arousal in women. Behav Res Ther, 33:441-443, 1995.
Leitenberg H and K Henning. Sexual fantasy. Psychol Bull, 117:469-496, 1995.
Rokach A. Content analysis of sexual fantasies of males and females. J Psychol, 124:427-436, 1990.
Strassberg DS and LK Lockerd. Force in women’s sexual fantasies. Arch Sex Behav, 27:403-414, 1998.
Variety staff. Nine 1/2 Weeks. www.variety.com January 1 1986.
Yost MR and EL Zurbriggen. Gender differences in the enactment of sociosexuality: An examination of implicit social motives, sexual fantasies, coercive sexual attitudes, and aggressive sexual behavior. J Sex Res, 43:163-173, 2006.
Youn G. Subjective sexual arousal in response to erotica: Effects of gender, guided fantasy, erotic stimulus, and duration of exposure. Arch Sex Behav, 35:87-97, 2006.

• don’t push it to the point that she feels frightened or overly uncomfortable.

Neanderthal sex can add an exciting dimension to your sexual repertoire. It can set you apart from the yuppies and metrosexuals she is used to dating. It can also lead to sexual abuse, resentment and get you in a lot of trouble. Be prudent and use your head (the big head).
References:
Bancroft, J. The endocrinology of sexual arousal. J Endocrinol, 186:411-427, 2005.
Chivers ML, G Rieger, E Latty and JM Bailey. A sex difference in the specificity of sexual arousal. Psychol Sci, 15:736-744, 2004.
Graham CA, SA Sanders, RR Milhausen and KR McBride. Turning on and turning off: A focus group study of the factors that affect women’s sexual arousal. Arch Sex Behav, 33:527-538, 2004.
Hald GM. Gender differences in pornography consumption among young heterosexual Danish adults. Arch Sex Behav, 35:577-585, 2006.
Hoffmann H, E Janssen and SL Turner. Classical conditioning of sexual arousal in women and men: Effects of varying awareness and biological relevance of the conditioned stimulus. Arch Sex Behav, 33:43-53, 2004.
Laan E, W Everaerd, R van Berlo and L Rijs. Mood and sexual arousal in women. Behav Res Ther, 33:441-443, 1995.
Leitenberg H and K Henning. Sexual fantasy. Psychol Bull, 117:469-496, 1995.
Rokach A. Content analysis of sexual fantasies of males and females. J Psychol, 124:427-436, 1990.
Strassberg DS and LK Lockerd. Force in women’s sexual fantasies. Arch Sex Behav, 27:403-414, 1998.
Variety staff. Nine 1/2 Weeks. www.variety.com January 1 1986.
Yost MR and EL Zurbriggen. Gender differences in the enactment of sociosexuality: An examination of implicit social motives, sexual fantasies, coercive sexual attitudes, and aggressive sexual behavior. J Sex Res, 43:163-173, 2006.
Youn G. Subjective sexual arousal in response to erotica: Effects of gender, guided fantasy, erotic stimulus, and duration of exposure. Arch Sex Behav, 35:87-97, 2006.
- See more at: http://fitnessrxformen.com/lifestyle/get-your-woman-to-long-for-rough-sex/#sthash.QlHajDFb.dpuf

Neanderthal sex can add an exciting dimension to your sexual repertoire. It can set you apart from the yuppies and metrosexuals she is used to dating. It can also lead to sexual abuse, resentment and get you in a lot of trouble. Be prudent and use your head (the big head).
References:
Bancroft, J. The endocrinology of sexual arousal. J Endocrinol, 186:411-427, 2005.
Chivers ML, G Rieger, E Latty and JM Bailey. A sex difference in the specificity of sexual arousal. Psychol Sci, 15:736-744, 2004.
Graham CA, SA Sanders, RR Milhausen and KR McBride. Turning on and turning off: A focus group study of the factors that affect women’s sexual arousal. Arch Sex Behav, 33:527-538, 2004.
Hald GM. Gender differences in pornography consumption among young heterosexual Danish adults. Arch Sex Behav, 35:577-585, 2006.
Hoffmann H, E Janssen and SL Turner. Classical conditioning of sexual arousal in women and men: Effects of varying awareness and biological relevance of the conditioned stimulus. Arch Sex Behav, 33:43-53, 2004.
Laan E, W Everaerd, R van Berlo and L Rijs. Mood and sexual arousal in women. Behav Res Ther, 33:441-443, 1995.
Leitenberg H and K Henning. Sexual fantasy. Psychol Bull, 117:469-496, 1995.
Rokach A. Content analysis of sexual fantasies of males and females. J Psychol, 124:427-436, 1990.
Strassberg DS and LK Lockerd. Force in women’s sexual fantasies. Arch Sex Behav, 27:403-414, 1998.
Variety staff. Nine 1/2 Weeks. www.variety.com January 1 1986.
Yost MR and EL Zurbriggen. Gender differences in the enactment of sociosexuality: An examination of implicit social motives, sexual fantasies, coercive sexual attitudes, and aggressive sexual behavior. J Sex Res, 43:163-173, 2006.
Youn G. Subjective sexual arousal in response to erotica: Effects of gender, guided fantasy, erotic stimulus, and duration of exposure. Arch Sex Behav, 35:87-97, 2006.
- See more at: http://fitnessrxformen.com/lifestyle/get-your-woman-to-long-for-rough-sex/#sthash.QlHajDFb.dpuf

What women/ men really want

 People are shallow. Generally. (Many) women will marry for wealth. (Many) men will marry for sex (sexual attraction).

But what people really need - because most people don't really know what they want - is ...


   Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement.

    They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever.

    Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon.

    You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.
    (Bob Marley.)

I think Marley's words ring true. I also think that only immature or insecure people marry for wealth or physical attraction alone. Having said that for many women in 3rd world countries - marrying for wealth - is often a ticket out of whatever horrible status they were originally in.

But for myself - I think the most important reason to get married is to be with someone who encourages and motivates you. Bound with that is a good dose of respect and love.

Speaking as a man, I would not abide a woman, not matter how beautiful, who shows me no respect and continually condescends to me.

No one is perfect - we are human beings and fallible creatures. If you can't tolerate someone's weaknesses - and seek to constantly put them down over it - I suggest you just walk out of that relationship. Its toxic.

Having said that I'm not suggesting that a someone should tolerate a partner who is a drug abuser, has an uncontrollable temper and is abusive. Please no.

My main reference would be my own parents. I look at my father - sure he was untidy, a bit unkempt, but he was a faithful, decent hardworking father who deserved a little more respect from his own wife. I shudder at how my mother chose to nag him to death over very trivial matters - losing her temper because he chose to wore a pair of pants that had some paint splatter. He did so much for her, he didn't boast about it - but it was clear to see.

Is the glass half full or half empty? For some people they don't even realize they are holding a glass of precious water until it is taken from them - and then its too late.

4 Rules to Make Star Wars Great Again - or not

I disagree. I think his analysis, except for Rule3, is superficial. The problem with the Prequels was not location, set props or being too cute. The problem was it had bad plots, dialogue, and, worse, was poorly directed. SW3:ROTS had Anakin massacre the entire Jedi kindergarten and strangle his wife - but the scenes lacked tension.

And it lacked tension because the characters were so poorly written. Maybe it was the overemphasis on the special effects - but the characters for the prequels - were horribly written. Oh yes, they had great costumes and props. But they had crappy dialogues+plot and their action sequences seemed more designed to show off LucasArts latest 3d gizmo.

Character character character (development) - that is the most important plot device for any story. Unfortunately, the prequel characters seemed flat and insipid. Even hiring big name stars didn't help.

A healthy diet may have cured this women of multiple sclerosis

Watch the video - suspend your disbelief for awhile - and think about it. Go home - now think about what you are eating. Actually, the key is self-awareness. Be aware of what you are consuming. Too often we are just gobbling whatever that is placed in front of us - which is anything.

I used to suffer from severe irritable bowel syndrome, reflux and heartburn etc.. I saw the specialists and they prescribed for my medicine and artificial roughage.

Actually, there was no need to see any doctors - just one cursory look at my diet back then would have explained everything. I was eating way too much junk food - I was drinking far too much coffee and the amount of sugar, fried food etc.. I wasn't obese. But I wasn't healthy either.

Fast forward to today. OK, my diet isn't perfect. I love to eat Kransky sausages. I love eating (certain type of) biscuits.  But what I do is I've reduced my intake of them. I will occasionally have sausages. I will occasionally drink Coke. I still probably have too many biscuits a day. But I also try my best to eat less processed food - I try and eat brown rice which is 10 times more healthier than white rice (which has little nutrient value btw). I try and eat green vegetables as much as I can.

And guess what I've gone down a size. I've effectively lost 5kg.

The key to weight loss is not to follow some crazy kind of diet that you cannot maintain.

The key to proper weight loss is eating right.  Avoid processed food like KFC, McDonalds. Refrain from drinking soft drinks. And esp. do your utmost to eat fresh leafy vegetables, fresh fruit.

Think carefully about what you are eating - butter is natural and contains a lot of vitamins, margarine is not. Things like white bread, white rice have very little nutritional value.

OK. Back in reference to the paleo diet. I think its wrong to assume that our ancestors knew more than us. The reason why they had the paleo diet is because that was ALL they had. They didn't have access to soft drinks, processed food, and they usually had to work their ass off to get food - try killing a Wooly Mammoth or just trying to harvest nuts and berries - its hard work!

They didn't need to go to the gym or run on a treadmill - because exercise was their lifestyle.

Stupid Intelligent People

http://www.businessinsider.com.au/why-clever-and-lazy-people-become-leaders-2013-9

There are four types of people in any organization.

1. Stupid and Lazy.


2. Stupid and Eager

3. Clever and diligent

4. Intelligent and Lazy

The latter according to the article make the best leaders- because they want to find the most efficient and fastest way to do things. The clever and diligent types apparently do what they are told.

I'm sure you can find many other types of people. Dominant. Submissive. etc..

But the article did not mention another type. Intelligent and Stupid.

There are some people who are blessed with remarkable intelligence - technical skill, academic prowess, leadership skills, but yet, they do stupid things.

They do not seem able to grasp the larger picture or perhaps if they do - lack the moral willpower to do what is right.

Since the article discusses WW2 - we will stick to that historical sphere for examples.

During WW2, in 1944 and esp. during 1945, the Germans and the Japanese were being smashed by the Allied forces. Both nations were facing horrendous civilian and military casualties. Their cities were being bombed to catastrophic effect. They had no way of winning the war. And yet they fought on hoping to be able to settle it on their own unrealistic terms. Both nations were determined to fight the war to a stalemate and to at least regain some of their conquered territorial gains and rewards.

If you thought the Germans were pig headed - the Japanese were much worse. With their navy destroyed, their army resorting to arming grandmothers and teenage girls with bamboo spears, their cities being bombed to the ground by enemy bombers - their population facing starvation, and even after two atomic bombs - they were still clinging in hope of victory.

People who can't see the forest from the tree bark in front of them.

Why? Despite all their intelligence - they were obsessed over the "small" things like maintaining their monarchy, preserving their sovereignty - meanwhile forgetting the obvious - if they faced utter annihilation in battle, there is no more culture to preserve. What is the use of a nation without its people? What is the point of a family house without its original occupants?

Bringing this back to Singapore - and this point seems to be eluding our intelligent elite leaders - what is the point of maintaining a high GDP if Singaporeans are being alienated in their own land? To be sure foreign investment is absolutely important - but at what price? I'm afraid our leaders who have cocooned themselves being a barricade of the highest salaries in the world, surrounded by sycophants and intelligent but compliant advisors - don't understand the problems that ordinary citizens go through. And that is a serious problem for our nation. When leaders are unable to understand and empathize with the people - and seek to solve the problem through artificial means - ie mass immigration and foreign workers - you are going to have a sick nation.
 

The Jesus & Mary Chain - The Hardest Walk (Alternate Version)

Best played loud. Very LOUD.

This song just has so much going for it. You can feel the energy, the sense of hurt, and that awesome guitar riff. Best played loud. damn loud.

I never thought that this day would ever come
When your words and your touch just struck me numb
Oh and it’s plain to see that it’s dead
The thing swims in blood and it’s cold stoney dead
It’s so hard not to feel ashamed
Of the loving living games we play
Each day
And I’m stuck in a shack
Down the back of the sea
Oh and I’m alive and I’m alone
Inside a sick sick dream
Oh is it me
Is it me that feels so weak
I cannot deceive but I find it hard to speak
The hardest walk you could ever take
Is the walk you take from a to b to c
I walk
Oh honey I talk
Don’t want you to need me
Don’t need you to want me
Don’t want you to need me
Don’t need you to want me
And I walk